


Ateş Bahar

by Inkn1ght1



Category: Diriliş: Ertuğrul | Resurrection: Ertugrul (TV)
Genre: Childlessness, F/M, Reconciliation, angst fest, betrayal angst, slow, tugtekin's angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:13:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26080054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inkn1ght1/pseuds/Inkn1ght1
Summary: Tugtekin Bey feels betrayed by his wife (Hatun). Her twin confessions may break their relationship. Or will they be the solid foundations from which they create a new life?
Relationships: Tugtekin Bey/Gokce Hatun
Comments: 4
Kudos: 6





	1. ateş

He always knew there was an unquenchable thirst in him. The fire in him refused to abate. His mother was a balm that had kept his bonfire contained. But now, it blazed worse than before.

He threw the arm-brace at his bed. Abrupt! She flinched. His woman. The woman he loved even more than his mother. The woman who promised to love him in front of Allah and His witnesses. The woman who held a torch for his cousin when pretending to love him.

Tugtekin had never burned in his fire as much as he did in these past few weeks.

The hurt of his father's death was barely healed when he discovered the treachery and betrayal behind it all. The woman he had called ana had been stabbing him in the back and twisting the knife for good measure. And he still had to call her that.

Oh! and what a twist!

His own woman! His one and only woman were in love with his cousin. The invincible, incredible cousin he looked up to.

It wasn't Ertugrul's fault. He told himself. But his hatun's.

Why didn't she control her affections when she found he had another in his heart? Why couldn't he stop loving her, knowing she loved another?

But that was not the point. She was in love with Ertugrul from her childhood. How can she forget him?

And this had continued for two years after his marriage.  
What kind of shameful woman had he married!

Did she still love him?

His disgust was deep and murky; he didn't know a way out it.

Perhaps she did.

He just met her. And he knew he wouldn't stop loving her till the end of his time.

The horror of it threatened to destroy him.

He saw her walk towards him. He saw, as if in a haze, that she sat by him to help him remove his shoes.

Don't touch me with your filthy hand. He moved away.

Was that a drop of tears in her eyes that she tried to hide? Was she crying for the loss of him or the loss of her supposed brother?

He was going mad out of his skull. He left the tent.

Racing down the steps to his marquee, he remembered the first time he had met her. It was on those steps where she sat near his aunt. Those eyes had captured him in a flash of the moment. He had looked away on instinct. It was as if he had looked at the sun for too long. Her eyes and that face had imprinted on his heart. He could see her every time he closed his eyes.

Even now!

The late-night sounds of the obasi settling down were something he relished.

So he walked through the tents. The night was slightly warm for spring. But he always felt more heated than others. The fire inside burned him tonight. He knew he would never love another. His heart belonged at the feet of a treacherous woman.

Someone darted away from one of the tents and ran behind another tent.

Tugtekin had his sword half drawn when he realised that Bamsi Alp followed the person. And that the person was a little boy. Probably Turali. The little orphan was said to be the youngest Alp of Ertugrul. He smiled to himself. The child was as brave as any of them. He wondered if he would ever have a child of his own. The knife in his heart plunged deeper.

He couldn't bear to think of the other betrayal. He may never hold his child, never see him wield his first knife. He may never watch a little girl with dark hair and doe eyes toddle around his tent.  
The embers from the fire in the torches far across from him burned his eyes. A hot drop of warmth flowed down his cheek.

Even if his woman agreed, he would never take another wife. He couldn't touch another woman like that.

A shout from behind the tents!

Turali ran up to him. Tugtekin didn't stop to think. He caught the boy and let the boy hide behind him.

Bamsi and Turgut Alp came running after him.  
Both of them were laughing.

"Good thing you caught the Little Aslan, Tugtekin Bey." Bamsi Alp said in a rush.

"I caught him. But you can't have him unless he wants."

He raised an eyebrow.

"I don't want to go," Turali said slowly.

That was unlike the boy. He practically lived with the Alps.

"Turali.." Turgut Alp let out a put upon sigh.

Tugtekin asked gesturally what the matter was.

Bamsi mimed taking a bath.

Oh! The bane of childhood existence. Taking baths.

"I thought you were the bravest Alp of Ertugrul Bey? " He murmured to the kid.

"Bey, I don't like cold water. " A small voice replied.

"How about a hot bath, then?" A new voice asked.

Gokce!  
How did she sneak upon him?

She touched Turali's shoulder and asked again," How about that, huh?"

Tugtekin moved to accommodate her. She smiled at him.

How can she smile while his heart was breaking into a million pieces at her feet?

"I can do hot water, Gokce Hatun. " Turali whispered. " But please don't exert yourself. I will make my hot water." He continued in a higher volume.

Her eyes widened, and she looked, not at Turali but Tugtekin. As if she wanted to share this sweet moment with him. To see her hold the boy to her side reminded him of everything he will never have.

"It is no hardship for me," Gokce said. "If Tugtekin Bey doesn't mind, you can take a bath at our tent tonight."

Before Bamsi could interrupt, Tugtekin took on the challenge," I don't mind at all. I will bathe you."

"Bey." Bamsi was about to say something.  
But Turgut, ever intuitive, spoke over him, "As you wish, Bey. I will bring his clothes over. "

They nodded to each other and turned towards their tents.

Gokce and Turali walked hand in hand. Tugtekin thought his heart couldn't bear any more of this beautiful image. But what awaited him was even worse.

She brought in a huge vat of hot water with the Alps help. He helped Turali undress and get into the water. When the boy sighed and closed his eyes, they burst out in laughter together. And stopped, caught off guard.

There was a yearning in her eyes.  
For him. Was that for him?

It was difficult for him to believe. But she had confessed everything, hadn't she?

A splash of water.

There were more pressing matters to attend to.


	2. bahar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His love for her is a fiery spring.

After the bath, Turali put his hand to his chest.

"Thank you for letting me have a hot bath in your tent, Bey. "

"Thank you for letting me take care of you. You are a valuable member of both our tribes. Our tent is always open to you. "

Tugtekin spoke with the same seriousness.

All the children of his  _ obasi _ were now his children. His and Gokce's. So what if they never have one of their own? They had many now.

He hugged the little boy to his chest.

Then they turned to Turgut, who was waiting.

"Take care of your Alp brother."

He nodded, and they left.

When he came into his rooms, he saw Gokce lying down. She was still  fully dressed. A sob escaped her as he sat down on the other end of the bed.

She curled into herself. His tears were falling  freely now. They cried for a future they had lost before they could even start dreaming of it.

***********************

He could hardly breathe.His tent suffocated him. He preferred to spend as much time outside as he could. If Gokce thought that it was because he was avoiding her, she didn't show it. Instead, she found ways to walk with him, to interact with his people. She was always sweet, considerate, and willing to lend a hand to anyone and everyone. Elders blessed their union. She ever had a shy smile when that happened. It confused him now.

What did it mean? Did that mean they could have children? Why did she put up this facade still? Or was it a facade?

Or was there a deeper agenda? What could that  possibly be? She was the Hatun of the marquee. What more could she want? She had all his possessions under command, his marquee, his body, heart, and soul. What more could she  possibly want?

A tiny voice in his mind said  _ your love. _

She had that too.

_ But you don't show it anymore. _

How can I?

_ She made a mistake. But she came clean about it, didn't she?? _

That she did. But...

_ You still feel betrayed. _

He nodded to himself.

She looked at him from where she sat by the rug weavers.

_ Look how she still knows what you're doing even when she  _ _ is concentrated _ _ on her work. _

_ Remember all that you did? Remember all that you put the Kayi tribe through. Hayme ana put up with your childish behaviour. Ertugrul Bey did too. You even tried to kill Abdurrahman without any proof. _

His conscience told him as Abdurrahman walked out behind Hayme _ hala _ .

Gokce removed the weaves in her lap to stand up. He didn't think but extended a hand to her.

She looked at him. Then his eyes.

_ Was that a smile in her eyes? _

She took his hand, and he  gently lifted her. If some of the women sighed at them, he took it in stride. She blushed.

_ So pretty. _

The color exploded on her cheek like a flower blooming,  slowly it spread its petals, full and bright.

" _ Mashallah, _ how beautiful the two of you look together!"

Hayme  _ hala  _ commented.

He smiled and bowed his head.

"May you  be blessed with many children. "

The blessing that usually passed over him as the wind on a summer night chafed him.

He looked at his woman, then at his aunt- his mother-in-law. Didn't she know about the wound? She knew everything. Then why the specific blessing? It was not in her nature to be callous or cruel.

He didn't stop to think. Sometimes, too much thinking resulted in inaction.

" _ Hala _ , will you come with us to Artuk Bey? There is something we need to ask him."

She looked at them both, then led the way.

Gokce had gone pale.

He will get to the bottom of this soon.

Abdurrahman waited outside.

The three of them went into the healing tent.

"How may I help you, Bey?" Artuk Bey asked.

"My  _ Hatun  _ had a wound. " He said.

"Gokce Kizim," Hayme hala went to her daughter.

Tugtekin turned to them so he could see both their reactions.

"A few years ago, she  was stabbed when she saved Ertugrul Bey's life."

Hayme looked at him with sad eyes.

A drop of tear rolled down Gokce's cheek.

"Gokce thinks it may have cost her her womb."

She was  openly sobbing now.

Hayme took Gokce in her arms. She was consoling her daughter.

"Tugtekin, it is a possibility. but nothing  is written in stone."

That was a placation. He didn’t budge.

"What is your opinion, Artuk Bey?" he asked the man without turning away from the women.

Artuk Bey said  slowly , in his measured voice.

"I will have to determine the position of the wound. And may conduct a few tests. Also, as Hayme  _ hatun  _ said, nothing  is written in stone, Tugtekin Bey. And these matters are always in Allah's hands."

Hayme turned to Artuk Bey.

“The woman who treated her, she is in the tribe now. “

“Abdurrahman."

Tugtekin called.

As the giant entered, she instructed him to find the woman. He left as swift as he came.

An awkward silence, peppered with cute sniffs from Goikce, followed.

" I will come to the marquee once I have talked to the woman, Tugtekin Bey. "

Artuk Bey nodded towards the door. "People might talk about how much time you are spending in this tent."

Hayme wiped Gokce’s tears before they left.  Outside they made small talk with Artuk Bey, who  loudly proclaimed to join them all for dinner in the marquee and thanked them for the invite .

As they walked with her, Hayme spoke.

"We should have told you about the injury before you  were wed . "

"Gokce told me. " He looked straight. 

She continued, "It was only because the woman said that the injury healed well, the probability.."

"Gokce told me, " he interrupted again, " before the wedding."

Two pairs of eyes looked at him as they stopped walking.

But he had eyes for only one pair—her watery doe eyes. There was darkness beneath them.

She wasn't sleeping much anymore, neither was he.

So he didn't see how his aunt smiled at them—his aunt, who knew precisely when Gokce told him about everything.

Abdurrahman joined them and said something to her. They excused themselves.

He stood there, in the middle of the path, gazing into his wife's eyes.

People parted around them. He didn’t care.

Another moment passed.

She lowered her eyes; he nodded, and they walked together.

It didn’t matter what Artuk Bey found out. This was his wife—the woman he loved more than anything. Any child of the tribe was theirs. There were orphans like Turali they could take in. Last night showed how good they were both with children.

Samsa ran up and stopped mere inches from him.

"Bey," he panted and nodded to Gokce.

_ Here comes one of his overgrown kids. _

He turned to her. Her eyes were dry now, and she was smiling at Samsa.

He took her hand; her surprised eyes turned to him.

Samsa took a few steps back.

"I need to go see what is happening. Will you be alright?"

She nodded, a slow, beautiful smile appearing on her lips. He nodded back, stroked her palm once, and left.

He will make this right. After all, he loved only once.

**Author's Note:**

> "ateş bahar" translates to fire spring.


End file.
